1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
We wound up moving to a subdivision in Alabama. I liked it there because there was a lot of kids in the subdivision. I didn’t like the school very much. My parents were still struggling financially. My mom and dad fought a lot when I was younger. My dad was physically abusive to my mother. My mom would sneak around and do things behind my dad’s back and lie to him. Sometimes, the physical abuse would be turned toward me. I remember one time I change my sister’s diaper and I was in a hurry and I didn’t fasten it all the way and some of the tape was stuck on her skin (back then the diapers had sticky tape on them). My dad got really mad and took black electrical tape and wrapped my whole head with it except for my nose holes so I could breathe. I couldn’t understand why my family was like this and why my family couldn’t be like the family’s I seen on TV. Like the families on Full House or The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
While we were living in the subdivision the police busted in and found drugs in our house. I remember being woke up in the middle of the night by the cops so that they could raid my bedroom. They took my dad to jail, and the child services were called. A week later my parents came to the school to check us out. They had all our stuff packed and told us that we were moving. We moved about an hour and a half away where my mom’s family lived. I was really sad because I had to leave my church family and all my friends. After we got settled in my cousin invited me to go with her to the skating rink. That was the place that all the teenagers gathered and had make out sessions and smoke cigarettes behind the building. Peer pressure got the best of me. I started making friends with the kids that were smoking and swearing. I didn’t necessarily want those kind of friends but you had to wear nice clothes and live in a nice house to be in the “in-crowd”. Nevertheless, I was making friends and getting really close with a few of them. I’m not sure why but a few months later we moved again about 20 minutes away. It was in a different School District so we had to change schools again. We were living in a nicer house though so I was excited about that.
Home life was miserable. Mom and Dad fought all the time. My dad always made me feel less than. He would call me names like bucktooth varment and four eyes, because I wore glasses. Sometimes, he would tell me that I would never amount to anything.
I started making new friends again at school; the same kind of friends. In this particular town, the bowling alley was the spot to hang out. We would gather there on the weekends and hang out and smoke cigarettes. At this time I was 14. I started going out with this guy, and I seriously thought I was in love. We were dating for six or seven months when my parents announced that we were moving back to where we had just moved from. I felt like I was dying inside. My dad was really strict about boys so I couldn’t let them know how I felt.
We moved back and switched schools again. It was good to see some of my friends that I had left behind. I picked up right where I left off at the skating rink.
I would go and spend the night and sometimes the weekend with my friend Amy. She was from the school that I had just moved from. We would go to the bowling alley so I could see my boyfriend. This boy made me feel loved. He gave me attention that I had never experienced before. I wound up losing my virginity during one of these weekend visits. There was nothing special about it. He borrowed a car from one of the guys at the bowling alley and we went down a dark dusty road and parked.
I wish that someone would have taught me how important it is to save yourself for marriage.
To be continued…